Give Me Back My Money
by Yatzstar
Summary: Bucky's goldfish are missing and he thinks he knows the culprit.
**AN: This is partially based off of the Supernatural episode "Tall Tales" because I'm hoping to see Steve and Bucky act like dorks in Civil war like Sam and Dean.**

In his short time spent as himself in the 21st century, Bucky Barnes had come to realize one thing: he loved goldfish.

Steve had been going to great lengths to get his best friend acclimated with modern culture, and that included the food. During his time as the Winter Soldier, it was no secret that Bucky hadn't had the mind to embrace all the new things that the century had to offer, so therefore Steve had taken it upon himself to teach his friend everything there was to know about the times.

One day, he had come up to Bucky, holding a white an orange bag.

"Hey, Buck," Steve had said. "I got these for you."

Bucky had eyed the bag warily. "What's that?"

Steve held out the bag, smiling slightly. "It's a bag of goldfish."

Bucky had frowned, taking the bag and looking it over. "Why would the seal fish up in a bag like this?"

"They're not real goldfish!" Steve had laughed. "They're a snack food."

Bucky had opened the bag, and was greeted by the salty, cheesy smell from within. Ever so slightly perturbed, he had grabbed a handful with his real hand and shoved the crackers into his mouth.

It was then that he found his favorite food.

He wasn't sure what it was about them, but he could eat them all day. On the next grocery trip, Natasha told Steve that he had taken the store's entire stock of goldfish, and Steve could only laugh. From that point on, there was always a carton of goldfish in the pantry, and if there wasn't, Bucky was bound to be out buying a new one.

Bucky strolled into the kitchen, whistling some tuneless melody. He had just finished an extensive workout, and was ready for a snack and a nap. He walked to the pantry,expecting to see the new carton of goldfish he had bought yesterday. Instead of seeing that, when the pantry door swung open, he saw one single goldfish lying on the shelf, and the carton was nowhere to be seen.

Bucky scowled and turned, looking about the kitchen. His goldfish were nowhere to be scene. His scowl only deepened. Where had they gone?

He moved to step away from the pantry, but his foot struck something. Looking down, he saw a wallet lying on the floor next to the pantry. He bent and picked it up, knowing who it belonged to instantly. Engraved on the leather of the wallet were the initials S.R.

"Steve!" Bucky yelled.

"You think this is funny."

Steve looked up from his position on the couch where he had been reading a book, meeting his friend's thunderous glare. "Depends on what it is."

"My goldfish, Steve! I told you not to eat them!"

Steve frowned. "I didn't touch your goldfish."

Bucky held up Steve's wallet and raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

Steve sat up, patting his pockets in confusion. He looked back up at Bucky and said, "Give me back my money."

"Uh, no. I'm keeping this for, uh, reimbursement for emotional trauma."

Steve stood up, holding out his hand. "Come on, seriously. I have like a hundred bucks in there. Give it back. I didn't touch your goldfish."

Bucky scowled. "No."

Steve made a swipe for the wallet, but Bucky moved his hand far out behind him, out of Steve's reach.

"Really?" Steve said.

Bucky didn't respond, but merely glared at his friend, holding the wallet out behind him. Steve jumped forward, making a grab for the wallet, but Bucky tried to keep it away from him. Steve tackled Bucky, landing them both on the couch.

"Come on!" Steve growled, grappling for the wallet. "Give it back!"

"Never!" Bucky retorted, trying to curl into himself as Steve fought to get a hold of the wallet. Steve tried to reach around under his arms and grab it, but Bucky held him out of reach with his metal arm.

"Ah, the real sibling relationship."

The friends paused mid-wrestle, looking up to see who had spoken.

Natasha couldn't help a laugh at their comical state, Bucky was spread-eagle on his back, one hand outstretched with the wallet and the metal one smooshed into Steve's face, who was halfway underneath Bucky.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"He ate my goldfish!" Bucky cried indignantly.

Steve pushed Bucky and the former assassin landed on the floor with a thud. He scrambled upright, ignoring his friend on the floor as he said indignantly, "I did not!"

Bucky rose, spitting out lint from the fuzzy carpet. "He did too! I found his wallet on the floor next to the pantry."

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Really? Last time I saw Sam and Rhodey, they were sneaking a familiar carton away and snickering to themselves."

"What?" Bucky asked. "Why would they do that?"

Natasha threw up her hands in despair. "Who knows! Last week they replaced my shampoo with glue. They probably set Steve up so that you two would get into a fight."

Steve looked at Bucky. "Can I have my money back?"

Bucky handed him the wallet grudgingly. "Fine…"

"They haven't eaten the goldfish," Natasha supplied. "They're hiding out in the surveillance room and laughing at you two fighting."

Steve shared a look with Bucky. "Want to get them?"

Bucky scowled darkly. "It would be a pleasure."

The two friends strolled off down the hall towards the surveillance room.

Natasha smiled as she listened to the terrified screams of Sam and Rhodey


End file.
